mama doesn't want to grow old

mama doesn’t want to grow old.

bones breaking,

mouth drooling,

jaw slack,

some one to

clean you

change you

chew and swallow for you.

mama saw her mama

whither.

prisoner

of her feeble body,

jailed

by her failing mind.

a sliver

of a shadow

of her former self.

mama doesn’t want

to lose her mind

or be trapped

as her body

crumbles.

mama wants me

to cut her off

to unplug her

to give her the red pill

and release her.

but mama doesn’t

think about after

mama doesn’t

think about me.

because

when they ask

‘where’s your mama?’

i’ll just say,

‘mama?

mama’s dead.

i killed her.’